Undercover Surveillance 07/16/2009
A few years ago, my dad was given a motion activated game camera by one of the hunters. My Dad is not familiar with new fangled gadgets, so he gave it me for a few days to figure out how it worked so I could then teach him to use it. I had been playing with it for a while, then set it down on the counter and went on an overnight trip with the kids ( I really can't remember where I went, just know for sure it was overnight) I phoned home that night and talked to Big Daddy, asked him what he was doing, he said nothing, getting ready for bed, and we said good night. When I came home the next day, I went to finish figuring out the new camera but the battery was stone dead. Crap, I thought I must have left it on. So I took the memory card out and put it in the computer to see if what I had been doing the day before had worked. The first few pictures were of my face, really close, up the nose shots, as I was trying to figure out if it was on, and how to shut the door. Then there was shots of me packing and kids running in and out, and us finally going out the door. The next shots were of B.D. coming home from work, talking on the phone, the neighbor knocking on the door, the neighbor coming in, him and B.D. talking, the neighbor going in the fridge for a beer, the two of them smoking in the house! The neighbor going in the fridge for beers 1 through 15, B.D. drinking beer 1 through 15. generally, just having a good old party. At this point, they actually notice the camera, pick it up and turn it all over, examining it, and trying to figure out what it was. They set the camera down again and continue with their party, all the while, having no idea it was photographing their every move. Then B.D. is on the phone again, with the time coinciding with my telephone call home in which he said he was going to bed. He hangs up and they laugh their asses off! Then carry on with their drinking! Their was hundreds of pictures of them, and they had no idea what it was sitting there. When Big Daddy came home from work that day I showed him all the pictures and told him what it was, and him and the neighbor laughed for days over it. There they were on camera, smoking and partying in my house like a couple of teenagers with their parents away for the weekend!  My dads looked similar to this, does it not look obvious that its a camera? Add Comment Change is a Good Thing! 07/15/2009
Some big changes have come over Betty Crockett. I am in constant need of change. I like new toys all the time. I easily lose interest when things remain the same. So because I have already dyed my hair, re-assigned bedrooms, and cleaned out the fridge,all in one week, and I still am unsatisfied, I have remodelled my website. I, of course, will still talk about hunting and post recipes, it will just be here in my blog that I do it, instead of separate pages. I am sorry, it has to be this way. Maybe I will decide I don't like the change, or maybe I won't. It all depends which way the wind blows. I am that kind of gal. Crime & Punishment 07/14/2009
Do you ever have one of those days? Seriously, I want to know. Lately it seems that everyday is one of those days. It doesn't matter what I do, distaster always strikes. My house has all the characteristics of a mental institute. There is chaos and noise from sunup to sundown. Strange noises, resembling moose calls, temper tantrums, and fights. I clean non-stop. I serve more food than Mc Donalds, and laundry seems to breed and multiply at a faster rate than rats. On the dreaded occaision of needing to go to the grocery store, I endure dirty looks, tsk-ing, and sometimes outright comments to my face about the behaviour of my youngest child. to which I always smile sweetly, and reply, "Why thank you for the advice..." (to which they smile) "you nosy old bat! Now mind your business and shop!" (To which their smile melts into confusion) Because as much as my kids drive me up the wall and around the bend, NO ONE is allowed to discipline them or talk bad about them except me. Now maybe you think I don't do that great of a job, because she behaves so badly, but I am on that kid about everything rotten she does all day long, but its almost as if the punishment is a trivial matter compared to the excitement of scribbling on the walls with jiffy marker, or flooding the bathroom, or knocking every reachable bottle of shampoo off the display in a matter of seconds. She does the crime and WILLINGLY does the time. Its unreal to me! I was mortified if I got in trouble as a kid. All my mom had to say was "oh, don't that or the man will come" We never met this "man", he never, ever, once in my life came and gave us trouble for anything, yet we were scared shitless of him. I say that to Toby and she says " Where? What man? MO-OM! What man? Who is him? Mom what man? I kick him ass!" and will not stop until I point out a man to her. She then tells me that she is not scared of him and he is "pu-pid" The outright audacity of this child is enough to send ME to the funny farm! By the time she goes to bed at night, I sit comatose on the couch in the dead quiet. I am unable to do anything but nothing. My brain is mush. You would think I would be exhausted and go right to sleep, but instead I suffer from insomnia. I am awake til sometimes 3 in the morning, and then back up at 8 with Toby. I think I subconciously avoid going to sleep because I know what tomorow has in store for me. And just when you think her head is going to spin around and she's going to start vomiting pea soup, she hugs me, says "I love you Mommy" and smiles sweetly, and I forget everything evil she did that day.  Zippy Ice cream 07/13/2009
Today, the girls and I went to the park for the summer rec program. It was obstacle race and ice cream making day. We learned the coolest way to make ice cream this side of the north pole. And since I love you all so much, I will share it with you.  First, take a large Zip-loc baggie and a small Zip-loc baggie. (Don't cheap out and buy no-name or disaster could strike. You will see why in a moment.) Into that baggie, dump 1/2 cup of milk (or cream, if your like me and have complete disregard for calorie or fat content) 1 tbsp of sugar, and 1/2 tsp of vanilla. At the point the picture was taken, Toby was quite dissapointed in her bag of milk, and wondering when the ice cream that everyone was talking about was coming.  Next, take the large Zip-loc bag and add ice and icecream salt. Put the small zip-loc bag inside, still sealed. (Ellie-May was just pouring her milk mixture into the ice and salt when I happen to notice and stop her. Crisis averted.)  Now, SHAKE! Keep shaking until the milk turns to ice cream. I don't like to be a hater, but no-name baggies just don't take the abuse that the brand name ones do. It only takes a few minutes of shaking, but it's a rough few minutes. I was a complete non-beleiver at this point, and by the look on Toby's face, she was too.  And voila! Dont let the fact that we are at a different location make you skeptical. There weren't enough spoons for everyone at the park, so I used that excuse to make a quick getaway without 3-yr-old-leaving-the-park-drama. It was so good! I was really surpised that it worked (the ice cream, not the getaway, but that was pretty slick too) let alone tasted good. We can't wait to make more! Wedding! 07/12/2009
I am so exhausted from the wedding this weekend. My feet still hurt. Not that I type or think with my feet, it's just distracting. And so is the three yr old sitting beside me that just woke up after a 4 hour nap, and is crying about everything that exists. Why, when you are at your tiredest, do your kids decide to be their worst? Small Town Fun 07/10/2009
 I know I talk quite often about my serious disdain for this dinky little town and it's lack of things to do, but the summer programs they run are amazing. Everyday there is at least five activities to do and its all really cool stuff. Monday was crafts in the park, Tuesday was a sports day, Wednesday was indoor games, and today was the best day of all. Watersliding and barbecue. They set up a big piece of plastic on a hill, added baby shampoo (so it didn't sting little eyes) and a garden hose, and let the kids go wild. After the water slide there was a family picnick and barbecue with free food and drinks for anyone and everyone sponsored by Rio Tinto Alcan. (they gave us free food, so they get free advertising, its a fair trade. Will Blog for food is my slogan) Some days a small town doesn't seem so bad. If it had Big Macs, it could be perfect. Happy Birthday! 07/09/2009
***Please note: this was supposed to be posted last week, but it has been lost in weebly world for a week***  Excuse the spots, its a 12 yr old picture taken on a real camera, with film. Isn't he cute with his fat little cheeks? I think so anyways.  And here he is 4 yrs old, cuttin a rug with his Mommy. He used to always dance up a storm with me all night. Now, he is too cool for that.  And this is just my favorite picture of all time of him. We always had the best days out on the trapline. So Happy Birthday To You! Please don't forget that at some point in your life I was cool. Or I will spank you. Devil Rockets 07/09/2009
I am sorry I was unable to post last night, I know you must have all missed me terribly, but my hands were a flaming inferno and typing was excruciating. But this morning, I am miraculously all better, and can grace you with my stories. lol. Anyways, I am forever scouring the internet for new and exciting things to cook. I love to hear "Wow, mom this is so good!" So I came across these wonderful little jalapeno poppers that I had to try out. I bought some peppers, cream cheese and bacon, and got to work. I had heard jalapenos could make your hands burn a little, but there was only 10 so I chanced it. I sliced them all in half, and suddenly I was having trouble breathing properly, I was almost weezing, then the coughing fit started and sneezing all at the same time. I left the kitchen so as not to get snot or cough germs on my little peppers. It felt like I had been maced! And, yes, I have had the misfortune of being maced, so I know exactly what it feels like! I went back in the kitchen, it started again, so I opened all the doors and windows, and plowed through. After slicing all of them in half, I seeded (deseeded?) all of them with a spoon, filled them with cream cheese, wrapped them in bacon, and put them in the oven, and washed my hands for the 10th time with soap since starting them. My finger tips felt a little warm but it was minor. I went about cooking the rest of dinner. Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes, and baked chicken. Over the course of about an hour, I could feel the warmth spreading the the rest of my hand, and it was getting hotter, and hotter, and hotter, AND HOTTER!! OMG!The burning heat was horrid, and agonizing and was not relenting! I plunged my hands in ice water and got the kids to look up how to stop the madness! There were many remedies that people said worked for them, but unfortunatly for me they are all LIARS! I tried vinegar, bleach, clearasil wipes, nail polish remover, baking soda, hand cream (5 kinds), laundry soap, floor cleaner, Orange TKO (which seemed to provide releif for a minute so I reapplied several times) I tried every thing under the sun, a few times over, and nothing worked for more than a minute. So I sat on the couch all night with my hands in ice water, and if I took them out for even a minute, the burning would come back. Now, I am not a wimp, I have broke bones, been bucked off horses, wiped out dirtbikes, cut my finger almost off! But nothing compared to this! (OK well child birth is out of this world worse than this, but there was no end result of a baby from the peppers!) I couldn't even enjoy the delicious meal I cooked because I could only take my hands out of the water for 30 seconds at a time!  Here are the wicked little things that caused so much agony. I have seen them called Jalapeno Poppers, and Texas Rockets but we now call them Devil Rockets because they are the most evil little things I have ever laid eyes on and only the devil would invent such a thing. Not only did they set my skin ablaze for hours on end and make me cry, but I ate every damn one of the cream cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped, ass-widening things. And today, I think I need somemore. Of course, after I buy a contamination suit. *Blinding pain, oops I mean recipe, courtesy of thepioneerwoman.com. A Day in the Life 07/08/2009
Do you ever have days when things just seem so ridiculous you want to run screaming from your life? I never do. My life is wonderful, and fulfilling, and I love every minute of the laundry, cooking and cleaning that, luckily for me, never ends. Like today for instance. You wouldn't even beleive how many beautiful outfits my youngest had on. Here, let me show you: Outfit Numero Uno Isn't she stylin? Her I-pod is her favorite accessory. The older kids wanted them, and since Toby is Daddy's little princess, she got one too, at the age of 1.5. Wonderful isn't it? Eventually he is going to run out of things to buy that kid, and all hell will break loose. Outfit Deux - The Birthday Suit There is always a breif period in the day when she likes to go au naturel. Sometimes the breif moment lasts a day or two. I try to keep her in the house in this state, but it doesn't always happen. She has more than once answered the door in this outfit as well, making us known as the people with the naked kid to quite a few of the folks around town. Notice the pony tail is gone as well, she ripped the elastic out, and shot it off the deck to avoid having the pesky thing messing up her natural look again. Ensemble Trois Here we have a complete outfit. Ellie may got sick of her bare but touching, well, everything she owns, so she convinced her to get dressed, I think she told her we were doing something fun, because I couldn't understand what she was following me around insisting on for an hour, but thats nothing new. I always have to ask the kids what she says. Its not for lack of being around her, 24 hours a day is not lacking, or because I just can't be bothered. It's because the kid talks another freaking language! I swear, she does. I will post a video one day of her weirdest words. Maybe it will be a contest, to figure out what she is saying. Outfit Four Not too sure what happened to out fit 3, but outfit 4, was a fleeting image as there was a slight accident due to the fact that Blues Clues was on, and a commercial did not come in a timely manner. Cinco de dayo This outfit was just not fashionable, so I have been told by my 10 yr old. Plus, dad was coming home. Time to get naked and pretend Mom had not even bothered to dress her that day. It's a little game my kids like to play called "Make Mom Look Incompetent" It's a family favorite. So there you go, a whole load worth of laundry from one kid, in one day. It is a joy, really. At this point I get a text from my oldest saying: "bike broken, please pick me up" I ask Toby to get dressed so we can go get him, and she rolls her eyes and stomps away, because I have foiled the plan of making me look incompetent to Dad again. While she was occupied getting dressed, I ran outside to get a picture of the Odyssey we want to sell. Suddenly the window ripped open, and Toby begins to scream, "MOM! NO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HOME ALONE!!" As if the feral child running naked day after day isn't reason enough to make the neighbors call wefare! Now she has to let on that I was leaving a 3 yr old home alone! And here we have outfit number 6.   And here is the broken bike. Yep,thats three pieces. What I wouldn't give to have that wipeout on film. So below is the final outfit of the day,I could have kicked my own ass after telling her she had a hole in the bum, but I preoccupied her with cake so she wouldn't change again. So, there you have it, a typical day with Princess Toblerone, and her many outfits. I am going to put a load of laundry in. Please, if there are any maids out there looking for pro-bono work, I have a guest room. And I cook yummy things. If you do the dishes. Just Kidding. (not really) Love, Betty the laundress Word of the Day 07/06/2009
Because I live a lonely, isolated life, in the quintessential "hick town" and I am one of the few non-farmer, non-church partaking (gasp) people in this neck of the woods, I really have no friends, close by, that is. I do (honestly) if I want to travel for atleast an hour, but thats as appealing as sitting on a wooden bench listening to someone talk at me for a few hours every sunday. (Sorry, if thats your cup of tea, I won't hold it against you) Anyways, I ramble. I know this. My kids tell me all the time. So, because my mom has a life, she isn't available for me to phone a million times a day, so I have started reading blogs. I tell ya! You get to know these people so well, you start to talk about them in casual conversation with the real people in your life! "Oh! My friend, the pioneer woman, made the BEST jalepeno poppers today!" As if I ate them, let alone am friends with the woman! My husband is starting to think I am losing it! He probably thinks they are imaginary friends or something, the way he listens to me. I swear he only hears every third word and only if they pertain to beer, food or boats. But there I go again, off on another train. The whole point of this post was to tell you about a new word I learned tonight out there in blog-world. A Sip-n-See. Doesn't it just sound fun? It seems to me it is the southern folk's equivelent of a shower. It is a party specifically thrown to "see" something such as a new baby, a bride to be, a relative visiting from far, far, away. It includes, lots of guests, good food, and "punch" to sip. (or guzzle, whichever floats your boat) I am now looking for any excuse to throw one. So, can someone, other than me, please get married or have a baby? I desperately need to print those words on an invitation, and I don't feel like getting a new husband or having my stomach stretched to kingdom-come, again. Please. I have all sorts of new recipes to serve at just such an occaision as being a Sip-n-See hostess. | Betty CrockettWell behaved women rarely make history.   
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