This is me.....

 I am a married, mother of 3. I spend my days cooking, cleaning, baking, doing laundry, all the usual house wife stuff. But, when I manage to sneak away from life on the funny farm, I go hunting, 4x4-ing, fishing, horseback riding. My life seems to be a complete contradiction. If you cloned Betty Crocker and Davey Crockett, you would get me. One minute, I will throw a teddy bear picnic for my daughter's, the next i am crawling through a feild in full camo, stalking the teddy bear from hell. My kids are (and these are not their real names)  11 yr old son, "Shooter" , 10 yr old daughter "Ellie May" and a 3 yr old daughter who calls herself "Toby". The two older ones are in a constant war with each other. It is a never ending whine of "he hit me, because she pushed me, because he looked at me, because she kicked my lego, because he wiped a booger on me!" No wonder I want to go shoot things, bonk fish and drive trucks like I stole them.  My youngest is Daddy's little angel, (she has horns and a tail the rest of the world can see, but she has a special power  that makes them invisible to her dad.) Which should make it pretty self-explanatory as to how she behaves. There is alot of feet stomping, and screaming and corner-sitting going on in our house right now. But I try not to do it in front of the kids. We have two dogs, Jimmy and Chica. A budgy that actually hasn't made a peep all day, (I need to check on that) a carnivorous, very large fish (Funny story about that one) and a cat that I am forever throwing out the door because it has some sort of issue with stinking. My kids are always wanting to add some disgusting creature that thankfully dies shortly after I pay a fortune for it and its home. We had a parrot, but it wouldn't stop screeching my sons name 24 hours a day, so it went to live with Mama and Pappy (my parents) and they love her.  They must have hearing problems.

I am forever taking pictures of everything, because I know how cool it is to see pictures of your grandma or great-grandma sitting on the back porch with all the kids and the family dog. Her hair is pinned up and disheveled, and the kids have dirt smudging their faces and clothes from a full day of running, squirrel chasing, worm digging, and mischeif.
Anyways, if you think about how much life has changed for women in the last hundred years, I think it explains the whole desperate housewife situation. We went from not being a "person" to being able to do whatever we please whenever we please. Its hard to choose where you stand in the mix between traditional housewife and high-powered, woman of the world. I dug up some facts about all that women have gone through in the last hundred years in Canada. If they are not completely correct, and you know better, good for you..

1909 - The Criminal Code is amended to criminalize the abduction of women. - UM... HELLO!?!? Was this not an obvious choice prior to 1909?!

1916 - Manitoba becomes the first province to give women the right to vote and hold provincial office.

1917 - B.C. becomes the first province to give mothers the same rights over their children as fathers. -I just don't know what to say on this one.....

1925 - The federal divorce law in changes, allowing women for the first time to obtain a divorce on the same grounds as men. -Most days I wish I had a time machine.

1964 - Bill 16 is passed in Quebec's National Assembly giving married women the same rights as their husbands.

1969 - Pierre Trudeau's Liberal government decriminalizes contraception. Decriminalizes?!

1974 - The first female RCMP recruits begin training at Regina.  

1983 - Criminal Code changes replace rape with three categories of sexual assault, giving equal protection to men and women under the law, and allowing spouses to charge each other with sexual assault.

1991 - British Columbia's Rita Johnston becomes Canada's first non-elected female premier.

1993 - Kim Campbell is chosen leader of the governing Progressive Conservative Party (13 June), and sworn in as Canada's first female Prime Minister (25 June).

Anyways, this is all about me, my family, the women I have come from, the women I will raise, the son that will grow up to love a woman just like me.... of course, I will not be able to see these similarities, and find fault in all of those same qualities that I so love about myself.  This is my life, welcome to the jungle........don't turn your back on the animals, they bite!

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